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This letter is to each member of my household with one sole aim to keep the family united and revive the warmth of embrace from the scattered lands. 
Let us look back to once upon a time in Allahabad when we all were just one call away and what is best time to recall the moments than our Durga Puja season. 

Three weeks before pujo;
With the onset of puja, the counting of logs in the Bai ka Bagh park begins and watching the same getting draped with clothes was a call to every siblings' that it is time to buy new clothes and collect pocket money. 

Two weeks before pujo;
The discussion of every day topic is what is new in fashion and how many days will this year pujo last? While the collection of chanda has raked our colony the distribution of events pamphlets have reached our door.
We sisters do not believe in buying the last stock and the first thing we do after school is rush to Chowk and Civil Lines to pick our style dress. While moms are always cool headed to let us pacify our own desires first, they believe in buying their sarees later. 

One week before pujo;
Early morning the radios are turned on to listen to Mahalya songs, this is mothers' and fathers' perfect time to bargain and buy their stuffs. Where our attention on studies have reduced the makeup tutorials have increased. The purpose of going to terrace is now to compare which pandal has reached the utmost height, the Neta nagar's or Bai ka bagh's with our favorite always being the later!

Three days before puja;
We have piled our books aside, moms do not feel the urge to cook anymore and fathers have taken their layback form. Oh! did i miss my brother all the way? Yes, he suddenly gathers all the sisters in his room and show off his bundle of shirts scattered on his bed each paired with different fabric pants. That is too much for us to wimp over the fact, that wish we all sis were earning like him too. 

Day of Durga puja;
Total chaos at home and no mirror is vacant. Doors are shut cuz women are busy inside. Sisters helping each other with makeup while daddy is banging on door to let him in. TV is on and loud with Kolkatta news running about the best pandals and murti in West Bengal; my pet dog is wagging and running in frenzy with the commotion in the house. 

9pm: 
Sarees are well pleated, shirts are tucked in, the house door is locked and empty never looking back at time we are sitting in the center of park amidst the buzzing flies and bright lights. Watching the Anjali and aroti we never felt tired standing on heels. Adoring the kohl in Durga's eyes till the border on her saree we come each day and night to see her. 
With plethora of food stalls we are never famished only running out of pocket money. While sisters are busy giggling about new boys in town parents have new gossips from the neighbors and sassy aunts. 
The nights always seem short and everybody have same prayer if the moon stands still and the clock doesn't tick so fast.

Shubo Bijoya;
Last day is here and as i behold goddess Durga from so close with my mother and other ladies busy with sindoor khela, i see a different form. Is Durga's eyes welled with tear, why is there a sad curve on her corner lips? And how do i make myself believe this is over. 
We sisters try to relieve ourselves with aschey bochor aabar hobey our mothers know well how to make us cope with post puja fever. 
Three rickshaws booked in late evening with all of us hopping on trying to fit in it, we reach Sangam. A moment pleasure to see all the idols from across our vicinty at one place. Oh! what more joy is there in the world to see so many Durgas getting immersed in holy water and bidding farewell.
 With laughter and endless talks the sun is almost down. The view becomes faint and the pain still lingers as the darkness dwell upon us. 
Here our fathers play their role. On our way return we stop at Shanti sweets house and dig up mishti doi and sandesh to savour the trauma with sweetness. But before we really can chomp on the delicacies back at home we are reminded to be good girls,"go and touch every elders feet and take their blessings." 

The best of our times we have spend together is under one roof. Hope the love prevails and one such Durga puja awaits ahead; where the royal bhog will be served from our kitchen and i shall be fortunate to touch each member's feet again.
Aamar pronam niyo tomra shobai. 

Love to;
Detumuni, 
Mamuni, 
Kakima, 
Kakamuni, 
Mummy, 
Daddy.



I was 40 she was 56, not in terms of age but in kilos and so we bore the title Laurel and hardy. We were in second standard and it was one of those unusual recess when I found her running away from the mocking crowd of classmates following her everywhere.  She was looking for space where she can eat in peace.  I didn’t join the laughing jerks since bullying wasn’t in my genes nor did bother to find the reason why did they choose her? I cared to finish my meal instead and enjoy my merry-go-round rides. It was after the recess when I got to know the teacher had placed a paper on her back labeling her the fat, talkative girl in her unawareness. Was it a fix??!!

The teacher will rot in hell, I cursed.

I pitied her that day and this pity got us closer in class five. Earlier I loved being referred to as Laurel and hardy since they were my fave TV characters but as we start growing up I found it turning sarcastic. She was still the fat, unimportant, laid back and weak classmate. And people will judge me on her basis too. No matter how much I yell I scored 72 in Geography it never bettered our image. She was still known as the talkative girl and one day I got this tag too.

I start cutting off from her very later in class ninth when our batch got more laughing stock that she got a boyfriend too.
‘The guy must be fatso too’
 ‘Hail to their upcoming gen’ they will talk.

I made new friends. She noticed my new transform and will skip from one group to another for a companion during the recess period. Back at home I was never free from guilt.  It continued for weeks when she fumed, ‘why are you not talking to me? And if you don’t want to then tell me straight’. I switched my bench partner and she choose the back bench all alone.

Summer was in  bloom with sports day selection in full course. The first selection was for tug- o- war. Thin girls showed off their slim waist backing off with pride that this selection is for fatsos and they are better for beauty pageant. In the utmost silence, someone marched ahead. She was my Hardy!! As she thumped proudly on the weighting machine with teachers and students surrounding her, waiting for another show on comedy central I prayed, ‘god, no mocking on her weight’. The needle raced to 56 and I shut my eyes tight in embarrassment. 
‘You are selected’, the teacher pronounced. 
My eyes and ears wide open to see her name getting pen down as an important candidate. All the fat girls from the entire senior batch got recognition today and I could not stop wondering weights can matter too.

Now every day when her name was called upon for the practice, it infused me with thousand smiles to see her getting noticed. But we never talked and she didn't cared.
The sports day came and to hell with my pyramid balance I was more interested to see the tug- o- war. When it began I could see my matriarch Hardy walking along with her glowing yellow house team in war against the red team. I start biting my nails when I saw the opposing team’s leader who was no less than 70 kilos of cellulite. For the time once again i am thinking good for my Hardy. 

The red handkerchief went down and the rope went to and fro with full exertion. The red house had two falls till now but this wasn't helping me since my friend is getting hurt and in no instant I will start crying. ‘Buck up, Vaishali!!!’ someone yelled from behind. It was my classmate. Very soon the others joined, ‘ Vaishali! Vaishali!’ I looked around are they really calling out for Vaishali??

There was no cheering for the yellow house, not for the Hardy but the long lost embarrassing  name Vaishali!! I sprang on my feet and screamed on top of my lungs with awe and pride, ‘that’s my friend Vaishali!!!’

Yellow house declared the winner. The bruises on my friend's hand gone and healed and after tremendous amount of sorrys our friendship won!



And then,
i turned to discover my Eden.
those astral rays in the faraway horizon.
a solitaire, a lone heart,
soon will be soaring high.
leaving behind the hell, the filthy road,
in avid race i run for the dawn.
dew of bliss, flowers strewm path,
i know i got it at last.
breath in crave, heart in wait,
trickling tears at every pace.
distance shortening, fear dying,
an effluent smile and all hopes alive,
as i fell in your loving arms.
Older Posts Home

Deepika Banerjee

Deepika Banerjee

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