A life without you



A year has gone without my dad. 365 days of walking around with a void in my chest. A year without hearing him again. Though I see him a lot in my dreams, in my thoughts, in my photo books, in my memories, I miss listening to his sound of laugh and all his jokes. I miss hearing him calling out my name and still telling him-Arey daddy aapko kuch bhi nhi aata. His voice was all that could uplift me and made me feel so special. 

As the months are going away I am recollecting if I have done enough for you? If I have given my best to make you happy in your lifetime? If I have pampered with enough gifts.  Being from typical Indian family all I regret is that we have never hugged each other. It was either a light pat from him on my shoulder or just a tight handshake or a loud hi five. Why was I so shy to hug you dad? 

 There are times I do feel jealous seeing other’s dad and kids still together. Oh yes, I am being honest here I do feel jealous and lot angry and then a tear of wound will drop from my eyes-hu was my happy picture picked to remain incomplete? 

What angers me the most is people asking me-how is your mom deepika? It piss me so much because it reminds me of the puzzle piece is missing from family board. Why can’t you people still treat us as complete family and still ask-how are your parents?





I mourn for you everyday and all that joys you were robbed of...

I guess I’ll always be partially a little girl missing her dad like crazy and wishing he could swoop in and save the day…

I promise to take your memory along for every part of the ride. I will love you fiercely until I am burned in that same fire. I am forever changed by losing you and yet I only am who I am to begin with because of you. My broken heart is the same one that has loved you since the day I was born. You are forever my king and I am forever your little girl.

We are here for mom and making the most of it with her.

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