When I was working in Bangalore in 2010 I remember I had this rushing adolescent hormones which will tell me im always right and any arguments on my statement will throw fire balls. Dad could see everything and knew very well this is going to harm my career. But he didn't had the mode to convey it the same cuz he was very much sure it will piss me that he is pin pointing me wrong and trying to rectify me. And more than that I hate to take advice unless asked for. Huh too much of attitude isnt???
So he find another way. He buy me this book.
What is this for? i was puzzled and was fuming
'just a present' he smiled inncocent
'but i dont need this book. i got enough friends'
'yeah but you can keep it, and its my favorite too'
'then you read it. i dont need it' and never flipped a page for the next two years. Ccuz reading this book is like humiliating myself like i need self help to modify my behavior. Huh im already perfect!
Much later when i met my man, i felt like laughinh back at myself cuz he was the replica of me but with 20% more anger than me. He will shout at top of his extreme pitch and if possible break stuffs too. I sometimes have to make sure we are quarelling in an unfurnished room.
My bro posted a message on facebook,
A sage explained,
Anger immediately creates a distance. When two people are angry at each other, their hearts are no longer close, their emotions are divided and they go miles apart. To cover that distance they yell. The angrier they are, the louder they shout. They are no longer in mode of love, of acceptance, of proximity. They are unable to hear each other, shouting is how they believe they can be heard.
I could not level his anger and decided one has to use their brains and so if i have little bit of remaining i shall use it at the earliest. I start conveying things in the way Dale told me, write and say stuffs in a way that the person thinks you are saying it in their benefits and should sound like an appraisal but not advice. I changed my behaviour like Lincoln did in his earlier days. Even Kourtney from the Kardashian sisters' mode of conveying with Scott is a live example how to deal with a temper short circuit guy. She is made of metal dealing with an alligator!!!
Of late i realise my hubby's boss yell at him, he vent his anger on me, i pass it on my mom and where do mom pass it on?? She is the super Diwa who have been consuming it. I am the next Diwa!!!
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